When parents often discipline harshly, their children become rebellious, disobedient, and aggressive—but strangely enough, these children also experience an above-average amount of shame. How is that possible, when they so clearly don't adopt their parents' values?

Psychologists show that this is partly because things that are not allowed stick so strongly in your mind (Journal of Personality and Social PsychologyIf you tell someone, "You're not allowed to think about a white bear," they automatically have to think about a white bear. Because children whose parents don't allow them to do something are constantly reminded of the prohibition, they consciously or unconsciously conclude, "Then I must really want it.".

And constantly having to suppress thoughts about something they shouldn't do leads to feelings of shame. It also takes a lot of mental energy, making children of strict parents more likely to succumb to (immoral) temptations.

source NRC, May 3, 2013